Archer
Counter Guardian
So a large part of my time I spent away from the server I spent in self-reflection. Initially I was fairly pissed off and regretful, as it felt like I had wasted a large amount of time on something that had amounted to nothing. However, the longer I spent thinking about it, the more I realized what happened and the circumstances leading up to my leaving PR were entirely my fault.
I believe my biggest flaw is my arrogance and my pride. My desire to be recognized as "the best" pushed me to settle for nothing except the highest, in everything. Jedi, SF, as an officer. When things did not go my way, or I felt I wasn't recognized enough, I got angry. It was my pride and my arrogance that pushed me to work for Grandmaster, Commander, and Admin, not just a desire to help. While that was a factor, it was my pride fueling the fire.
I am a very flawed individual. I was rude and an asshole to quite a few people. I was condescending. I acted as if I always knew best, and that was extremely toxic. I was filled with resentment and anger all the time, and I'd be lying if I still didn't occasionally feel that way.
So I believe I owe everyone an apology. I am genuinely remorseful for my actions and the way I presented myself. I let my biggest flaws direct my actions, and overcome me. I let them become me. I believe I made quite a few people angry, upset, or offended, and I am so sorry.
This is not a goodbye letter, I am not planning on leaving the server again. Rather, the opposite. I wish to stay on the server and work on fulfilling several new goals.
1) I wish to work my way back up to ARC and eventually RC in the future. I would like to earn that right back, and work towards representing SF well, compared to the poor example my previous conduct set.
2) I wish to work with my squad and work towards being a more helpful, positive group than the previous attitude I let fester and even encourage. I wish to do away with the elitist attitude I encouraged and work towards being more friendly and open with Sigma to the rest of the server.
3) Eventually, when I spend more time on the server, I would like to reapply for moderator. If I am accepted, I do not wish to go any higher than mod. I have already proven I cannot handle anything higher, and would rather stay at a position where I can help, but where there is also plenty of people that can kick my ass back into line should I step out of it.
4) However, more than any of these goals, my goal is to earn everyone's forgiveness for my prior conduct and actions. I do not expect to be forgiven right away. I will work for it, and I will do my best to show everyone that I am doing my best to change for the better.
I do not wish to attempt to attain any more leadership positions beyond that of leader of Fireteam Sigma. I no longer aspire for Commander, Admin, or Grandmaster. Archangel, Rough, the Council, and Fretwell have all been doing amazing jobs, and I respect them and the hard work they put in.
I hope you all can forgive me in the future, and I once again apologize for my pride and arrogance. Change takes time, but I am committed to seeing this change through, as I attempt to grow as a person.
I would like to add a extra apology to Riddick especially, since he is the one who trusted me with these positions, and it is him I failed the most.
Thank you for reading.
I believe my biggest flaw is my arrogance and my pride. My desire to be recognized as "the best" pushed me to settle for nothing except the highest, in everything. Jedi, SF, as an officer. When things did not go my way, or I felt I wasn't recognized enough, I got angry. It was my pride and my arrogance that pushed me to work for Grandmaster, Commander, and Admin, not just a desire to help. While that was a factor, it was my pride fueling the fire.
I am a very flawed individual. I was rude and an asshole to quite a few people. I was condescending. I acted as if I always knew best, and that was extremely toxic. I was filled with resentment and anger all the time, and I'd be lying if I still didn't occasionally feel that way.
So I believe I owe everyone an apology. I am genuinely remorseful for my actions and the way I presented myself. I let my biggest flaws direct my actions, and overcome me. I let them become me. I believe I made quite a few people angry, upset, or offended, and I am so sorry.
This is not a goodbye letter, I am not planning on leaving the server again. Rather, the opposite. I wish to stay on the server and work on fulfilling several new goals.
1) I wish to work my way back up to ARC and eventually RC in the future. I would like to earn that right back, and work towards representing SF well, compared to the poor example my previous conduct set.
2) I wish to work with my squad and work towards being a more helpful, positive group than the previous attitude I let fester and even encourage. I wish to do away with the elitist attitude I encouraged and work towards being more friendly and open with Sigma to the rest of the server.
3) Eventually, when I spend more time on the server, I would like to reapply for moderator. If I am accepted, I do not wish to go any higher than mod. I have already proven I cannot handle anything higher, and would rather stay at a position where I can help, but where there is also plenty of people that can kick my ass back into line should I step out of it.
4) However, more than any of these goals, my goal is to earn everyone's forgiveness for my prior conduct and actions. I do not expect to be forgiven right away. I will work for it, and I will do my best to show everyone that I am doing my best to change for the better.
I do not wish to attempt to attain any more leadership positions beyond that of leader of Fireteam Sigma. I no longer aspire for Commander, Admin, or Grandmaster. Archangel, Rough, the Council, and Fretwell have all been doing amazing jobs, and I respect them and the hard work they put in.
I hope you all can forgive me in the future, and I once again apologize for my pride and arrogance. Change takes time, but I am committed to seeing this change through, as I attempt to grow as a person.
I would like to add a extra apology to Riddick especially, since he is the one who trusted me with these positions, and it is him I failed the most.
Thank you for reading.
Last edited:
