My friend.
Spectre, Thanatos, Jack and many other names I have called you over the years. I have known you for almost three years if not more. We have had a lot of good times together whether it be on RG, LB or even PR, we will always be friends. You were my first Commander in CWRP. You were also one of my first friends. The fact that you think these thoughts concerns me not only as a fellow player or even staff member, but as a friend. The times we have been through will always be in my memories whether it be for better or worse, but that doesn't matter. What does matter is that you are suffering, and you don't need me telling you that. My point is that you have impacted my life to where I can't really imagine playing any CWRP servers without you there being the usual edgy guy that you are. I don't know if you feel the same way towards me, but I hope that you remember the times that we were in the 187th and ARC. All the fun times we had... not the PT though. The times we talk about how bad Ravine was as a human being. Talking about how we switched 187th CO positions like 5 times. I really truly do cherish these memories that not only we have made, but the whole community. You are someone I always looked up to because you always said "fuck it" and did your own thing. I respected that. I wanted to be like that because I used to be someone who was afraid to speak up. I was someone who was afraid to speak my own opinion to people in a video game and IRL. You helped changed that in me. Because of your bizarre harsh training I was able to build that type of mentality. SO please don't ask me why you shouldn't kill yourself because there are too many reasons why.
But If I have to I will give you three in case you didn't know.
1. You have given me the ability to say "fuck it" and helped me become a person with more confidence.
2. You mean too much to people on this server.
3. You are one of my greatest friends I have gotten to know while playing GMOD.
I only wish that this is not the end of our journey as friends, but a new one. If you ever need anything remember you can always trust your boy. There are many things left in life, and though it may not be for much longer. You have to cherish those remaining moments in life to the fullest.
A man named Randy Pausch who was diagnosed with cancer and only had months to live said this in his final moments on this earth.
"We cannot change the cards we are dealt, just how we play the hand."
I can't really say much because I have not gone through what you have gone through but maybe people who have died and have suffered as much as you or even more so can tell you that there is something to live for. At this point I am rambling. I just wanted you to know that you cannot leave us behind. #187thforlife.
-From ya Boi Unlucky
![⭐Korn [506th PIR]](/data/avatars/m/0/85.jpg?1510084350){kind=avatar}
. But Suicide doesn't take away the pain it gives it to someone else. Your life is not A film so don't end it. we will always be here for you no matter what happens we all love and care about you even though your team kill is higher than the deaths you have on the server. You have the strength to get through it all and when you feel like giving up we will be here for you. don't do it. people will miss you and mourn over you, I know you somewhat and you wouldn't want that would you?
